Mormon Women Bare, Katrina Barker Anderson + Journalist, Trent Toone

SISTASinZION Radio! Sundays 5:00 p.m. - 7:00 p.m. (Mountain Time) Listen live HERE and call in at (646) 478-3671. If you miss a live show listen here at anytime! This week:

Katrina Barker Anderson is the creator of Mormon Women Bare, a project which features portraits of nude women and their essays. The project began with the question; "Why has the modesty culture of the LDS church gotten so extreme and what can we do about it?"Katrina is a photographer, mother, and unabashed feminist. She is passionate about women’s issues, especially pertaining to education, birth, and breastfeeding. Katrina has a BA from Brigham Young University and lives in Salt Lake City with her husband and children.

Trent Toone is a journalist for the Deseret News. He was raised in Garland, Utah and earned an associates degree at BYU-Idaho and completed a bachelors at the University of Utah in 2003. Since then he has worked for a number of newspapers and received several awards. Trent is the author of No Excuses, No Regrets: The Eric Weddle Story. He served an LDS mission to Santiago, Chile, and spent a year teaching LDS seminary. Like his father before him, he is a proud Eagle Scout. Trent and his wife, Lisa, have four children and live in Utah.

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Hot Wife, Helpful Husband?

What happened to happy wife, happy life? A new study says husbands are happier in their marriages when their wife is attractive.

An article in the Huffington Post says that Men With Attractive Wives Report Higher Levels Of Marital Satisfaction. 450 newly weds agreed to be subjects in a 4 year study to find out if men with good-looking wives are happier than men with not-so-cute wives? Say what!

First of all, was research really necessary? Cause the moment your man says; "Hey baby, you wanna enter this study to find out if I'm gonna be as happy with an unattractive wife as this other guy with the attractive wife?" He was destined for the most miserable four years of his life.

Second of all, why are people marrying people that they don't find attractive. Third of all, how much money did the participants get paid to admit that they found their spouse unattractive, and for wives to be cool enough with it that they kept participating for four years. Did this study also come with some marriage counseling?

The article also said that when husbands felt they were better looking than their wives "They didn’t seem to be quite as motivated to help out their wives when they were more attractive than their wives." So let's get this straight...a husband who thinks he is the cat's meow, and that his wife is kitty litter, and is not pulling his weight around the house; finds that his marriage isn't going so well. You don't say!

Now don't get us wrong, we believe that both people in a marriage should consider the things that attracts their spouse to them. But may we suggest to husbands everywhere (especially those dudes that are married to us) that y'all remember that the bible says; "It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman." (Proverbs 21:19) So, if you're a husband who signs up for the attractive wives study, and you are not in the; I-think-my-wife-is-so-hot-I-get-burned-when-I-hug-her-group, should you be shocked if you end up sleeping outside?

What do y'all think, does a beautiful spouse make a beautiful marriage?

Hallelujah Holla Back,
Sista Beehive & Sista Laurel

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She Said, She Said: Mormon Women Bare

Our girl Jennifer Borget has a blog segment called “He Said, She Said” where she shares her and her husband’s views on a subject. While we're the same gender over here at SiZ, we thought we’d give it a whirl. Same topic, both Sistas share their thoughts.

Disclaimer: **If you are recovering from an addiction to pornography DO NOT VISIT THIS SITE!!! We do not want to be responsible for pushing anyone off the wagon.**

Last week photographer Katrina Barker Anderson, was interviewed by KUTV  about her project, “Mormon Women Bare” which features nude portraits of Mormon women, accompanied by personal essays from each woman. Regarding her project, Katrina says; "It's about reclaiming our bodies from a culture that teaches us that we belong to men, to God, and to the society that objectifies us."

Below each of the Sistas sound off:

SISTA BEEHIVE

My kids forbid me to leave my house wearing this....
 I did, and they freely accompanied me.
I got this! 

From what I can gather the overall message of "Mormon Women Bare" seems to be: “I have felt objectified, marginalized, controlled, manipulated, and made to feel shame. Just by the nature of me being born into this female body, I am deemed inferior to men and an enemy to God. Therefore in order for me to be the God of my body, I must let go of all the guilt, in an attempt to purge myself of the burden I’ve been taught to carry. As part of my personal repentance to self, I’m going to bare it all! Freeing myself of the shame, and guilt that I’ve been made to own and forced to lug around. I’m taking control from (insert name here) and reclaiming what belongs to me!” Ladies, if this is how you feel, I feel ya! I understand your pain and know your struggle. If my preception of your message is incorrect, I apologize. However, from an outsider looking in that seems to be the overall tone of your message.

As a woman, who is African American and Mormon, I too have felt feelings similar to these sistas. Have I felt marginalized? Yes! Suffered rejection? Of course I have! Just as I have suffered unfair and hurtful treatment from men, religious and other. I've also experienced it from women who I thought I had a natural connection with because of my religion, and (or) race. I have experienced unnecessary biting comments from some of my Mormon Sistas (White). As well as painful rejection from women (even Black women) belonging to varies sects of Christianity. I have to admit that I consider such treatment more vicious when it comes from people I thought I could trust because of an assumed commonality. As sobering as it was when I realized that the very people who should have been protecting me and treating me like I was something "more", had defied God's plan and treated me like I was less. Even that realization didn't make me want to shed my clothing and bear ALL my "lil" birthday blessings to the world.

I would be lying if I said I didn't have an opinion of MWB, because I do. I'm not entirely comfortable sharing it because even though I've seen them naked, I don't feel that I know them well enough for that, not yet anyway. What I am comfortable sharing is this, It's obvious to me that these ladies are hurting, they are in pain, and as much as they claim that baring their bodies has been a spiritually uplifting experience, I can't believe that  is their core truth. This site and these Sistas have left me with many questions, I see where one has decided that she no longer believes in the LDS church. Is it just the church she has stopped believing in or is it God too? Is it true for the majority of the women who've decided to bare "it"? How has this experience change you? Has it had an impact on your families and how does that make you feel? Is that burden something your children will have to carry, and process at some point? I have so many unanswered questions, like: Was there a way you could have removed the layers of shame you feel were forced on you without stripping yourself of your clothing? Are you also interested in telling the stories of Mormon Women who want to shed their shame without showing their bodies? 

It seems that some think and feel they needed to claim their bodies back from their husbands, children even God. This made me wonder if they thought Adam objectified or shamed Eve. I find it interesting that the first thing that both Adam and Eve did after partaking of the forbidden fruit was to make aprons out of fig leaves, and cover themselves. Adam and Eve had obtained knowledge, and with that knowledge they made outfits. The women who participated in MWB gave various reasons for participating in the project, a few of which I will share:

 Katrina: "I grew up with a fairly healthy body image and sense of self. But as an adult woman, I have struggled with feeling like my body was not entirely my own– it belonged to my husband, to my children, and ultimately, to my God more than it did to me. It has taken a drastic change in perspective for me to reclaim my own body for myself. It is not perfect by the standards of beauty magazines and runways. Like many of us, I should move more often and eat less sugar. But it is strong. It has birthed two babies without drugs. It experiences pleasure and pain. It is soft and firm. It has scars and stretch marks. And it is beautiful. And it is mine." 

~Or~ 

Ann: “Just three months later, I stood in front of the bathroom mirror, prepared to peel my garments off. I no longer believed in the Church. Thus, I thought it wrong to remain clothed in covenants which no longer controlled me. With the same detached fascination you stare at strangers in a airport terminal, I saw the woman in the mirror pull off the garment bottoms. Slowly, deliberately. She waited through every inch for something to happen, sat and monitored her feelings. Wondered how soon the Spirit would leave. I saw her carefully, cautiously, lay the lifeless silk leggings on the countertop. She patted them tenderly, as if to say, “thanks for the all the memories.”Suddenly, she was me again. I was her. No longer unfamiliar with the infidel in the mirror, this girl without garments. It was mine to feel and command and care for. It was mine to dress and sunbathe and sit in. It was mine to walk as I pleased, to the places I pleased, in the moments I pleased. Forever following the whims and will of my own heart, my own head, my own sacred understandings. It was mine. This body belonged to me.”

I grew up with two religious influences in my life. I feel like the influence of the LDS church was a little more lenient then the Pentecostal church that I attended as a youth. There are truths that I learned at both churches that allowed me to  know when the "Word" was from Him and (or) when it was from “them”. Adam and Eve, even in direct disobedience were able to partake of His love and receive the blessing of knowledge. And with that knowledge they got dressed (as much as they could with fig leaves). Until then the two of them dwelt in the Garden of Eden and in the presence of God who was not bothered by their nakedness.

One of the things that I find odd about some of my Mormon friends, especially the ones born and raised in Utah with the influence of the LDS Church; Is their belief that ours is the only religion that believes in modesty. The church I grew up in was Pentecost, the dress code was strict and at that time seemed rigid and difficult to follow. I was the 9 year old girl who had to run track in a dress because pants were considered “worldly”, and telling someone from my church that they were “worldly” was like telling them they were going to hell. Likely, the bishop of most LDS congregations would be in a frenzy, ‘cause them tube socks and slacks they be rockin (not my bishop, of course) would disqualify them for any type of leadership positions in the church I grew up in. It was considered irreverent and inappropriate by the board (the folks that do the hiring and firing) and disrespectful and (or) ratchet to the congregation. Male leaders had to look spiffy! They either wore a suit with a tie or a bishop’s collar, matching shocks (silk/dressy) and a pair of nice shined shoes. Anything less, I actually don't know what anything less would have meant, because all the “members” followed the dress code.  

I guess what I have taken a very long time to say is we all experience some carry over from our youth. Some people view it as shame and others refer to it a baggage. I have luggage, I recognize it, acknowledge it and at times when appropriate clear out my suit case leaving the majority of my things at the therapist office, nonetheless, I have carry over because I'm living fully the life I've been granted. Even with the strict dress code that was enforced at my previous church, I have never equated modesty with clothing only. Nor was I raised to believe that it applied only to women. I was taught that my body was sacred and a gift from God (who I know to be The Creator of it) and because I view it as a sacred gift, I have a desire take care of it. As a mother of several children my husband and I are the co-creators of their bodies. I recognize small familiar traces of me, my body on my children. There are times that I fight the urge (sometimes I lose) to smack or pinch specific body parts, not in anger but because I find my children sooo incredibly irresistible! Most of the time when I give into my impulses I'm quickly reminded that even though I helped create their bodies, they are individuals, their bodies don’t “belong” to me and they don't appreciate my playful gestures. I perceive our Heavenly Father to be the same way. Actually, I know he's much more tolerant of us and what we do to our bodies, then I am with my children and what they want to do to theirs. I believe he marvels at all of us with our unique personalities. He sees glimpses of Himself in us that bring Him joy. However, when it comes to what we chose to do with our bodies He allows us to exercise our own agency over it. It is my personal belief that God created us to expand in His grace not shrink in mortality. Viewing MWB blog and thinking about the profiles of the Sistas who participated, I’m grateful for Eve, and her tenacity and the bold way in which she handled the knowledge that partaking of the forbidden fruit yielded to her. I can only hope that women not only in our church but throughout the world will discover that being bold and speaking their truth is not equivalent to being bare and speaking out.

Seeking Fig Leaves,

Sista Beehive

SISTA LAUREL

Can I “bare” my testimony too? Now don’t get it twisted, cause this Sista plans on keeping her clothes on, and here’s why. Nakedness does not always reveal the truth and covering up does not automatically equal a cover-up. I believe that my body is a temple and a long time ago I set standards for myself on who was going to have access to my temple. Yeah, that’s right...not everybody has a recommend to this hizouse.

I think my face has a good side and a bad side.
I'm that annoying girl who wants to switch sides every time we take a photo together.

When it comes to healing the many body and image issues that exist within our sisterhood, I actually think we need to put some things back on. THE GLOVES! The reason people take their gloves off when they REALLY want to fight is because you can do more damage with a naked fist than you can with boxing gloves on. Is it just me, or does it seem like women are always taking something off when we want to be heard. The gloves come off when we're ready to rumble. Make a sista mad enough, she’s ‘bout to take her earrings off. Make your mama mad enough and she might take her shoe off.

I don't like to comb my hair. I am convinced that my hair doesn't like me to comb it either.

Can we stop taking stuff off for a second? Can we approach legitimate concerns in our sisterhood without out a “chick-fight.” Sometimes we get so lost in debating the package that the message is wrapped in, that we never even get to the message. And no, that doesn’t mean that the only way to focus on the issue is to start “unwrapping” err’thang.

This jiggles when I lead the music at church.
I know I'm Mormon, but I'd rather the jiggle be on my Jell-o.

I won’t engage in putting down my sisters. Instead, I’ll use my breath to offer up my words and my experiences. We women gotta learn the difference between putting down and speaking up. I don’t think that we have to undress to address issues of dress. I said earlier that nakedness doesn’t always reveal truth. My doctor has seen more of my body and knows less of my body issues than my therapist, who has never seen me naked. A picture is not always worth a thousand words.

I have stretch marks on my calves. They have been there since high school.
I didn't know they were there until a boy at school pointed them out to me. Yeah, thanks for that, Shane.

Believing that my body is sacred doesn’t mean that I think that it’s secret. A private property sign doesn’t keep a building hidden, it just means that the owner wants to decide who, how, when and why access is gained. So you bet your bottom dollar that there are G-14 classified areas of my temple, and if you don’t have the clarifications, you can’t view em’, plain and simple. The standards I choose to maintain about my body have been influenced by my upbringing, my culture, my faith, my life experiences, etc. Sadly, outside influences can also have a negative impact on how I feel about my temple, how I treat my temple, and how I allow others to treat my temple.

I have a muffin top. It most likely came from eating chocolate, not muffins.

I too want to contribute to healing body and image issues within in my sisterhood and society. But hey, this desire only makes me want to shed some light, not clothes. So, my photos bear witness of my body, without baring my body. I have no make up on, no nail polish and unfortunately that’s how my hair settled when I took my bun out. I did take my earrings off too, but not cause I want to fight.

I am a Mormon woman. I have been objectified. I have been victimized. I have felt ashamed and confused about my body. And I have kept my clothes on. I have also experienced, healing, peace and love. And I have kept my clothes on. Why? Because no matter how many layers of clothing I take off you could never see my deepest scars. But gloriously, no matter how covered I am, my Savior still sees my pains and works with me to heal them.

It's no secret; I am a sacred woman, and that's the naked truth.

Our bodies are beautiful, we are created in God’s image, we should feel fabulous about our temples, and teachings of modesty should never be used to make a girl or woman feel otherwise. I don’t usually put Jesus and John Mayer in the same sentence, but John did say “Your Body is a Wonderland”. I believe that our bodies, our temples are a “marvelous work and a wonder,” that’s also why I think it’s ok to leave parts of them for folks to wonder about.

Cloaked in the armor or God,
Sista Laurel

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Sunday Best: Saturday is a Special Day

Is Saturday really the day that we get ready for Sunday? Sista Laurel shares her thoughts.

Sometimes Sistas like the same JC Penny patterned dress! Sista Laurel added 
purple tights and a turban, while Sista Beehive opted for boots and a scarf.

A song in the LDS Children's hymn book called Saturday, goes a lil' something like this:

Saturday is a special day.
It's the day we get ready for Sunday:
We clean the house, and we shop at the store,
So we won't have to work until Monday.
We brush our clothes, and we shine our shoes,
And we call it our get-the-work-done day.
Then we trim our nails, and we shampoo our hair,
So we can be ready for Sunday!

When I was little, my family actually did this. Polished shoes and err'thang! My siblings and I had to get our Sunday clothes out on Saturday, for my Mother's approval. She'd look at our choices and say, "No, you wore that last week." Or "You better get the tights that I know you are planning to wear under that dress." Or "I know Sunday is a "holy" day, but if you think you're going somewhere in that skirt with a hole in it you must be out of your mind." And all she had to do was start singing "Wade in the Water" for my brother to know his pant hem needed to be let out. Cause clearly he either thought he was Michael Jackson or that a flood was coming.

I don't really know what the whole charade was about, cause by the time she sent us back and forth, back and forth, we were usually all wearing the matching outfits she wanted us to anyway. After we had mum approved outfits then we had to iron everything and put them on hangers. Then my father had to approve our footwear. He'd find scuffs that were only visible with a NASA telescope and we'd get to scrubbing, buffing and shining.

My mother would comb our hair on Saturday night, which meant that we had to "sleep pretty" so that we'd wake up with our hairdos still intact. By the way sleeping pretty is "pretty" uncomfortable. Clothing wasn't the only special thing about Saturday either. Sunday dinner had to be started. That could mean seasoning meat, snapping peas, soaking beans, etc. Cause like mum said, Sunday dinner wasn't going to cook itself.

The other day I was slipping on a pair of boots for church and my boo said to me; "Are you going to polish those." I looked at my boots and said, "What, they're not scuffed, they're "weathered," they're supposed to be like that." "Oh, really," he said. "When I went to church with a wrinkly handkerchief, you asked me why I had a California raisin in my pocket." He was right. I had been meaning to get around to polishing my boots, but I'd forget and then I wouldn't have time on Sunday morning.

It made me think of my back in the day Saturdays. Life is busy and hectic and it can seem like there isn't time to make Saturday a day of work for the day of rest. Sometimes I forget that God is a sharer, Sunday is His day, but the benefit is mine. I spend Monday through Saturday working, running errands and doing who knows what else. I prepare for meetings, events and lots of other things. Surely I can carve out a little time in my week to prepare for the Sabbath.

In the end does God care if I wear "weathered" boots to worship? I don't think so. But, I care. I don't wear scuffed shoes to work meetings, so why should I wear them to my worship meetings? What we each deem as our best for the Lord is personal, but whatever we determine that best to be, we should all take a little time to keep it our best. The Sabbath is the day that we give our thoughts and actions to God, which brings rest, peace and joy to us. So, gettin' ready for Sunday...I gotta lil' time fo dat!

Is Saturday a special day in your household? What do you do to get ready for Sunday? Let us know what you're rockin' on Sundays by using the hashtag #SundayBestSiZ.

Have a blessed day of rest,
Sista Laurel

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Songs for the Soul: He is With Us

Uplifting music has the power to put us in tune with the Spirit of Lord. The Sistas share this week's selection of Songs for the Soul:

1. "Hosanna," Soweto Gospel Choir
Favorite lyrics: "Let the weak say I am strong, Let the poor say I am rich, Let the blind say I can see, What the Lord has done in me." 


2. "Never Give Up," Yolanda Adams
Favorite lyrics: "To fulfill divine purpose, you gotta answer when you’re called. So don’t be afraid to face the world against all odds."


3. "Beautiful World," Justin Cash
Favorite lyrics: "Someday all of these wrongs will be righted, Someday the path up ahead will be lighted, Until then, until then, It’s a beautiful, beautiful world."


4. "Overcomer," Mandisa
Favorite lyrics: "You're an overcomer. Stay in the fight 'til the final round. You're not going under, 'Cause God is holding you right now."


5. "He is With Us," Love & The Outcome
Favorite lyrics: "We can trust our God, He knows what He's doing. Though it might hurt now, We won't be ruined. It might seem there's and ocean in between, But He's holding on to you and me, And He's never gonna leave, no."

Hallelujah Holla Back,
Sista Beehive & Sista Laurel

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Marriage Ain't for You {Urban Translation of Marriage Isn't for You}

If you tuned in to SiZ Radio last night you heard us talking to Seth Adam Smith author of the "Marriage Isn't for You" blog post, and dating and marriage blogger, Aesha Adams-Roberts. Seth's viral post has now been translated into Spanish and Portuguese and of course he came to the best (yes, that's the Sistas) to provide the official "urban translation". Well here we go, mic check, check, check... 

MARRIAGE ISN'T FOR YOU MARRIAGE AIN'T FOR YOU

Seth: Having been married only a year and a half, I’ve recently come to the conclusion that marriage isn’t for me.

Translation: Even though I've only been married for a hot second, that's long enough for me to realize that marriage ain't for me y'all.

Seth: Now before you start making assumptions, keep reading.

Translation: Aye, aye, look here. Before you start breathin' all down my neck can a brotha get a chance to finish? I'm talkin' to y'all folks who like to jump to conclusions like ya name is Tom Cruise, and you're on Oprah's couch. (See how all that hoppin' and skippin' turned out for him?)

Seth: I met my wife in high school when we were 15 years old. We were friends for ten years until…until we decided no longer wanted to be just friends. :) I strongly recommend that best friends fall in love. Good times will be had by all.

Translation: I stepped to shawty from jump, but she put me all up in the friend zone. I had to holla for a minute before she would even holla back.

Seth: Nevertheless, falling in love with my best friend did not prevent me from having certain fears and anxieties about getting married. The nearer Kim and I approached the decision to marry, the more I was filled with a paralyzing fear. Was I ready? Was I making the right choice? Was Kim the right person to marry? Would she make me happy?

Translation: I was so caught up in puttin' the full court press on Kimmy boo that when she gave me the opportunity to go to the line, I let the crowd get all up in my head and started brickin' shots like Shaq was my shooting coach.

Seth: Then, one fateful night, I shared these thoughts and concerns with my dad.

Translation: I went to my pops for a man to man.

Seth: Perhaps each of us have moments in our lives when it feels like time slows down or the air becomes still and everything around us seems to draw in, marking that moment as one we will never forget.

Translation: It got so real and so deep, so fast.

Seth: My dad giving his response to my concerns was such a moment for me. With a knowing smile he said, “Seth, you’re being totally selfish. So I’m going to make this really simple: marriage isn’t for you. You don’t marry to make yourself happy, you marry to make someone else happy. More than that, your marriage isn’t for yourself, you’re marrying for a family. Not just for the in-laws and all of that nonsense, but for your future children. Who do you want to help you raise them? Who do you want to influence them? Marriage isn’t for you. It’s not about you. Marriage is about the person you married.”

Translation: Dad said, "Seth, I'ma need you to pay close attention, cause I'm only gon' say this one time; all this back pedaling you doin'...Ain't nobody got time for that! For ten years you been walkin' around talkin' about how you wish Kim would give you a chance. Now you got your chance and you trippin'! You like seafood Seth? Cause I smell fish Seth...a whole lotta sel-FISH! You up in here talkin' 'bout YOU don't know if YOU wanna get married, news flash; marriage ain't fo' you Seth. What you need to worry about is how invested Kim is in being ya baby mama, since you say you want all them kids. Cause me and ya moms are done raising babies, so don't bring no kids to my house. Listen Seth, it ain't always about you, it's about ya boo too!"

Seth: It was in that very moment that I knew that Kim was the right person to marry. I realized that I wanted to make her happy; to see her smile every day, to make her laugh every day. I wanted to be a part of her family, and my family wanted her to be a part of ours. And thinking back on all the times I had seen her play with my nieces, I knew that she was the one with whom I wanted to build our own family.

Translation: That's when it dawned on me that I was whooped. Kim had me at hello and I was 'bout to mess around and make her say goodbye.

Seth: My father’s advice was both shocking and revelatory. It went against the grain of today’s “Walmart philosophy”, which is if it doesn’t make you happy, you can take it back and get a new one.

Translation: What my dad was tryna say is that this ain't Burger King son, you can't always have it your way.

Seth: No, a true marriage (and true love) is never about you. It’s about the person you love—their wants, their needs, their hopes, and their dreams. Selfishness demands, “What’s in it for me?”, while Love asks, “What can I give?”

Translation: "What's in it for me?" Man, that ain't even a real question when it comes to love. Love ain't a picnic, it's a potluck! How you gon' be worried about what's in their basket when you don't even know what you bringin' to the table?

Seth: Some time ago, my wife showed me what it means to love selflessly. For many months, my heart had been hardening with a mixture of fear and resentment. Then, after the pressure had built up to where neither of us could stand it, emotions erupted. I was callous. I was selfish.

Translation: I don’t know why I’m trippin' cause shawty showed me a long time ago that she was ride or die...even though I was acting a fool, tryna be all hard and stuff.

Seth: But instead of matching my selfishness, Kim did something beyond wonderful—she showed an outpouring of love. Laying aside all of the pain and aguish I had caused her, she lovingly took me in her arms and soothed my soul.

Translation: My boo wasn’t even tryna eye for an eye me. She kept it straight Bible, my bad behavior didn't even phase her. Kim showed me mad love. My baby took me in her arms and my heart melted like butter.

Seth: I realized that I had forgotten my dad’s advice. While Kim’s side of the marriage had been to love me, my side of the marriage had become all about me. This awful realization brought me to tears, and I promised my wife that I would try to be better.

Translation: I had flipped the script, my pops had dropped some knowledge on me a while back and now here I was acting brand new! I realized my girl had my back, but I didn't have hers. I could see my wrongs so clearly that it made my eyes water...shoot, I'll keep it real, I cried like a baby! I told shawty I was gonna man up, gave her my word that thangs was 'bout to change.

Seth: To all who are reading this article—married, almost married, single, or even the sworn bachelor or bachelorette—I want you to know that marriage isn’t for you. No true relationship of love is for you. Love is about the person you love.

Translation: Err’body reading this, if yo attitude is; I’ma do me, but I need you to do me too! That ain’t cool and it won't keep ya love hot.

Seth: And, paradoxically, the more you truly love that person, the more love you receive. And not just from your significant other, but from their friends and their family and thousands of others you never would have met had your love remained self-centered.

Translation: When it comes to love, the more you give the more you get!

Seth: Truly, love and marriage isn’t for you. It’s for others.

Translation: On the real, if you can’t focus on your boo...love and marriage prolly ain’t for you!

God is love,
Sista Beehive & Sista Laurel

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Marriage Isn't For You {Seth Adam Smith & Aesha Adams-Roberts}

SISTASinZION Radio! Sundays 5:00 p.m. - 7:00 p.m. (Mountain Time) Listen live HERE and call in at (646) 478-3671. If you miss a live show listen here at anytime! This week on SiZ Radio:

The Sistas are talkin' to today's guests about gettin' and stayin' boo'd up:

Aesha Adams-Roberts, PhD is a happily married military wife and Stay-at-home mother of two. After years of making painful dating mistakes she finally met and married the man of her dreams. Aesha left her full time career as a college professor to stay at home with her children and founded AeshaOnline.com, a site designed to help women and men not just meet, date and marry their perfect match, but to prepare for and enjoy their life together. Affectionally called "Dr. Mom" by her readers Aesha helps women solve their "mom problems" quickly and easily and enjoy their life as a mom.

Seth Adam Smith was born in Anchorage, Alaska and raised in the American West. His travels have taken him all over the world; from the Arizona desert to the Siberian wilderness—only to lead him back home, to marry Kim, the girl of his dreams. Seth is the author of the now viral blog post "Marriage Isn't For You" which has landed him in front of Elizabeth Hasselbeck, on HLN and Good Morning America. Seth is the Editor-in-Chief of ForwardWalking.com, a website dedicated to helping people move forward in life.

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Luv True Luv...

Do we really "fall" in love or do we accept, allow, and embrace it? There are several movies, plays, books, even articles written telling us how, when and why we do or should fall in love. Leading us to believe that we actually "FALL" in love instead of embraceing love. We don't know what happens when y'all are falling, but when we fall, we do everythang we can to stop ourselves 'cause falling hurts! You end up on the ground, ( and trust us, you will, we blame it on gravity) and like most people you will quickly jump up, dust yourself off, as yiu quickly look around because you wanna know "did anyone see what just happened?". When we are "falling" in love, we want the world to know it! We want err'body and their mama's to know that "WE  ARE IN LOVE! no matter how crazy we look, y'all remember Shug Avery from the movie "The Color Purple" running out to announce to her father "I's married now!" and don't even get us started on our Brotha Tom Cruise.... Pleeeze!  When we are in what we think is "LOVE" we don't mind looking crazy or doing whatever it is we do for the person we think of as the love of our lives. The media has us and y'all believing their perception of love and what its supposed to look like. They tell us that if it don't fit, you must acquit ummm we meant quit! Yep, that's right the media and society says if there is trouble at home, pack ya stuff and get on! (We can't stop it's the rapper/poet in us.) Society gives us permission to quit, stop loving, and leave your marriage. Didn't the Lord tell us to stop it with that crazy "eye for an eye madness?" An eye for an eye leaves everybody blind according to Dr. Martin Luther King, and we couldn't agree more. Yet, news paper articles got us ready to throw in the towel so that we can look for the next cliff to jump off of.

Have we as Christians really bought in to that? We certainly plan on finding out on tomorrows show. Our Brotha and friend Seth Adam Smith author of  Seth Adam Smith (on a LITERAL odyssey) puts America, no bump that, he puts the world on blast by educating us and letting us know that  "Marriage Isn't For You!". Calm down! Before y'all hyperventilate and catch the vapors keep reading. Like y'all when we fist glanced at it we were like "Ohhhh no he didn't!!!" But upon a second glance and actually reading his blog post, we both said "Ohhhh, yes he did!". We wanted to get all up in the business of how not to drain but maintain our marriages. So, we had to throw in our Sista card, which trumped a whole lot of folks.... Sorry  Ellen, (it's his turn to teach family home-evening this week). Since we got Seth, we want y'all to join us for our special Sunday edition of Family Home Evening. Y'all need to listen and participate! Yep, we said participate!!!! Our question today is: Without faith can we maintain love? Do you believe that falling in and out of love is an active choice? Once married should there be a nicety line when if crossed the gloves come off?

 Share your thoughts 'cause we need all the "FREE" help we can find, y'all know we are talking about  therapy... fre'erapy (free therapy).

Formulate your thoughts and give us a call  Tomorrow Seth is speaking to us tomorrow at 6:00 pm (mst) 646-478-3671 or leave your questions and comments here so that we can read them on tomorrows show! Until then  Be Ya Best, & Ya Best Ain't Stressed! 


Bless Ya'Sef~

Sista Beehive & Sista Laurel

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It Ain't Even Black History Month!

We thought PBS might hold it against us since folks said our Mormon brotha Mitt Romney wanted Big Bird fired. It was probably all a big misunderstanding cause big yellow is not panhandling on Sesame Street and Brotha Mitt is probably watchin' Ernie, Burt 'n em with his new grand baby.

PBS has produced a new series which gives the history of different ethnic groups in America. In September they aired the history of Hispanics and during the month of November, The African Americans: Many Rivers to Cross  with Henry Louis Gates Jr., will air.

KBYU, which will include the program in their lineup has gone the extra mile and gotten to know individuals in their community past and present, who contribute to Utah's diversity. We feel blessed to have been spotlighted in their KBYU Eleven's Up to Date, which will air alongside The African Americans: Many Rivers to Cross with Henry Louis Gates Jr.

Y'all know we love diversity, and we love that PBS is showcasing American history in it's many facets. And shout out to comedian and Studio C cast member, Stacey Harkey, who narrated the piece.

Check out the Sistas Up to Date here:

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Preachers of L.A. {Is Religion Right for Reality TV?}

SISTASinZION Radio! Sundays 5:00 p.m. - 7:00 p.m. (Mountain Time) Listen live HERE and call in at (646) 478-3671. If you miss a live show listen here at anytime! This week on SiZ Radio:

This week the Sistas discuss the recent trend of religion-based reality TV shows. The newest and most talked about Preachers of L.A. has kicked off it's season with a bang, even garnering the attention of Bishop T.D. Jakes who had a whole lot to say!

Mormons have joined the ranks of reality TV with The District, which follows Mormon Missionaries. So whether it's The Sisterhood following first ladies of the Church or Breaking Amish, is religion right for Reality TV?

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