Ok guys, I hate to pick on you, but you make yourselves such easy targets. I don’t know what it is, but some of the worst pick up lines I have ever heard come from Mormon men. Maybe it’s because they don’t drink, does drinking give you swagger? Every time I hear “My Liahona is pointing at you?” I throw up in my mouth, just a little. Come on are you serious, and that doesn’t even sound right. If the ratio of men to women at BYU weren’t 5 women for every 1 man, no one would be getting hitched.
MoMen you have seriously got to find some swagger and find it fast! LDS women are getting savvy. We’re not supposed to drink caffeine, but we know how to DO THE DEW!
In 2003, she was described as
“the most prominent single LDS woman right now”.
Now this is a Sista who is not having it, those rusty pick lines are not working on her. She can do bad all by herself. Look boys, going on a Mission is nice and all, but I don’t care how cool you thought those clothes were two years ago, they are not in style anymore. Step your game up Brothas! Stop going to dances and saying how grateful you are for Martin Harris, cause if it weren’t for him we would be 116 pages further apart. Stop telling us you found a way for women to hold the priesthood, and then trying to get us to hug you.
Now ladies, you know why they keep doing it? Cause some of ya’ll are giggling and acting like it’s cute. STOP! That’s why you end up married for 10 years and your man is still wearing his Missionary suit.
Ok guys, so you have now been officially schooled. We don’t want to hear it! Don’t tell us you recognize our name from your patriarchal blessing, that when you came to church you knew you would feel the spirit, but you didn’t know you would see an angel. We don’t want the gift of tongues bestowed upon us, and yes we do obey the
Word of Wisdom even though we are SMOKING…Hot.
And Sistas, next time a fella steps to you and says some crazy ish like “If our bodies are a temple, where can I get a recommend to yours?” You better tell that fool he ain’t worthy!
What are the worst pick up lines you've heard? MoMen don't be shy, which ones have you used? Are any of these lines actually working? Are you an RM who still wears their pre-Mission clothes? How long can a Missionary suit last?
Sista Laurel
Ok, I almost peed my pants! The next time a guy says a line like these to me I am totally going to tell him I am Doing the Dew!
ReplyDeleteWhats wrong with wearing your missionary suit shouldnt you be proud if your husband can still fit in it after 5 years. With the economy the way it is Im proud that I still can wear mine.
ReplyDeleteThose are hilarious lines. I guess I've been out of circulation for too long since I'd only heard of one or two before! Cheese city.
ReplyDeleteStephen L. I hope you are kidding! Brotha you can't blame it on the alcohol, so you are blaming it on the economy...lol.
ReplyDeleteWould it be ok with you if a woman took the same stance.
"With the economy the way it is I am so happy I can still fit into my maternity clothes 5 years after having my baby."
Don't even send that suit to DI, burn it Brotha...haha.
I think "My Liahona is pointing at you" is a lot less worrisome than "Would you like to hold my iron rod?"
ReplyDeleteOk, almost peed again! Would you like to hold my iron rod! Thom, so funny!
ReplyDeletelol point taken Sista Laurel but I dont think I could burn it its a perfectly good suit. my wife is giving you the thumbs up however.
ReplyDeleteHas anyone heard this one? I have and it makes me want to gag! "If I could be any part of your body, I would be a tear, so I could be born in your eyes, live on your cheeks and die on your lips."
ReplyDeleteMy husband was a Catholic when I met him. He simply asked me to dance...no corny lines even though he is terribly corny at times! Oh and he was baptized 2 years after we met.
ReplyDeleteI LOVE this blog!!! I have never heard any of these lines before now, and I'm SO glad my husband didn't know them. Maybe that's why he's my husband...:)
ReplyDeleteYou look so good I would drink your bath water.
ReplyDeleteHey, does your mama cook soul food???
ReplyDeleteIf loving you is wrong, I don't want to be right!
ReplyDeleteOh baby yo feet must be tired cause you've been running through my mind all night long!
Can you see this raisin? No, can you see us on a date? Actually worked... but only once:)
way to many more to name, however I won't cause I'm sure peter priesthood is going through comments taking notes. All I need is one of my 7 daughters coming home telling me that she met the man of her dreams!! He told her "you must be lost, cause heaven is a long way from here". Cause I know some of these lines are unique only to the "inner~city" Momen don't know nothing about this...
These have to be the worst pick-up lines ever! And I heartily endorse your suggestion that the guys need to Mo-man up.
ReplyDeleteheehee
;)
This made me laugh so hard! ha i love it! the sad thing is that it is true! ha.
ReplyDeleteA guy once came up to me and said....
"my love for you is like diarrhea...I just can't hold it in!"
-boy was he proud of that one...
wow.
You are hilarious! I agree, girls stop giggling and stop it. Ha ha. So funny.
ReplyDelete"....oh, you got a boyfriend? Well, you know like a computer you can always get an upgrade..."
ReplyDeleteIn Honduras some guy yelled "12345" to me to prove that he knew English
ReplyDeleteI can't wait for my husband to get home from work so i can have him read this. (He's corny, but he knows where to draw the line!) I had to tone down my giggling so my baby wouldn't wake up!
ReplyDeleteCaffeine as near as I can tell is never stated in the W of W and to teach that it is in the W of W is false doctrine.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous February 11, 2010 10:37 AM
ReplyDeleteAbout caffeine and WoW
.
OK, this isn't funny, but I'll share it to clarify this issue. Many Church lessons warn against drinks with habit-forming drugs but the latest *official* statement I've found is included in this Q&A from the Jan, 1981 Ensign on p. 10:
.
------------------------
.
"Q. What are the health consequences of drinking caffeine drinks other than coffee? What is the position of the Church regarding their use?
"A. The full answer to this question lies in the area of medical opinion and reliance on personal discernment. Cola beverages do contain caffeine and thus may be avoided in accordance with the spirit of the Word of Wisdom. The most current Church literature relating to the question is found in a Priesthood Bulletin statement dated February 1972:
“'With reference to cola drinks, the Church has never officially taken a position on this matter, but the leaders of the Church have advised, and we do now specifically advise, against the use of any drink containing harmful habit-forming drugs under circumstances that would result in acquiring the habit. Any beverage that contains ingredients harmful to the body should be avoided.'
"There is no current Church policy that would preclude a bishop issuing a temple recommend to a person who consumes cola beverages. However, Cola beverages contain caffeine in amounts that are approximately one-half to one-fourth the amount in a cup of coffee, depending upon the size of the bottle. Caffeine is a central nervous system stimulant that certainly tends to become addictive in its use, with the attendant side effects of nervous-system stimulants. Frequent use of cola beverages can lead to an addictive pattern similar to that observed in coffee drinkers."
.
Link (see 7th Q&A):
http://lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?hideNav=1&locale=0&sourceId=24b0fc3157a6b010VgnVCM1000004d82620a____&vgnextoid=2354fccf2b7db010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD
Is your dad a baker? Cuz you have hot buns! Blech!
ReplyDeleteI once heard someone say
ReplyDelete"I'm only interested in her spirit...but that spirit is WELL-TABERNACLED."
This post is hilarious! Thanks for the laugh.
@Anonymous Did Sheri Dew propose to Elder Oaks and he turned her down? We weren't aware of anything like that happening we must have missed it. LDS women are Vain, Demanding, Naggers...if you've got a problem with your girl please don't take it out on all LDS women. Thanks for stopping by our site, ya'll come back ya hear!
ReplyDeleteI haven't been single in 28 years, and from the lines being shared on this page, I am soooo grateful I'm not dating right now. Jeez, guys. If that's the best you can do, there will be more single women in the church in the coming years.
ReplyDeleteAs to Sis. Dew. I've heard her speak at several Time Out for Women events, and I admire her so much. The one thing I love most about her is that she is showing all of us that to be an LDS woman, you don't have to be a cookie-cutter female. You don't have to conform to a certain stereotype. It's ok to be yourself. That was exactly what I needed to hear. I am anything but a "Molly Mormon," and until I heard of Sis. Dew I had no idea I could be myself. Thank God for her!
@Delores - Ha Ha! We hope the latter-day brothers will step up their game... Exactly! LDS Women come in many different varieties, everyone is different, and the sisterhood is stronger when everyone gets to be themselves.
ReplyDeleteI had a guy ask me if I was ready to be a prophet's wife....then walk away from me in the middle of the song on the dance floor when I said, "You're joking, right?"
ReplyDeleteI think you girls are great---thanks for saying what I'm sure other girls are thinking and that you are going to be yourselves--we all need a little spice in our sugar!!
ReplyDeleteI have been married for almost 50 yrs and can not remember the stupid lines that I received way back then, but the guys then thought they were cool. You women today have it more together that we did way be then. You are brighter, more in tune to the spirit and a just more well rounded individual. I married for wrong reasons, but it has taken me all these years to learn patience, perseverance, gratitude, a great love for my Savior and a stronger testimony. Yes, if I had it to do over I would have gained these things before marriage. Today I am still married, have children, grandchildren and great grandchildren, but a lot of regrets. Marriage is very important to us and so is our devotion to our Savior Jesus Christ. Become so in tune to our Father in Heaven, Jesus Christ and the Holy Ghost, attend the temple often and follow our prophet. Then went it comes time for you to make the choice for an eternal marriage you will already know the one to choose, even if he has corny lines. We all fall into that corny behavior one time or another because there is a little comic in all of us. But till then just weed through the corniest ones and wait for the most perfect one for you to come along.
ReplyDelete